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... cui properabantur? tibi nempe, ne foret aequalis inter conviva,...

ne...quam te: referring, I think, to a rival ("conviva") among his contemporaries ("aequalis inter") whose woman ("mulier sua") esteemed him ("diligeret"--subj. by attraction or generic subj.) more than the unnamed lady esteemed the beneficiary of her gifts ("vellera lanae").